#realtalk

I would just like to say a big thank you to this class. This class has taught me that you can post anything and certain people love it. You can get different people every time. There are also different types of posters. The late night posters, the get it done as soon as the assignment is posted. And the sports the politics the whatever you feel like at that time. The having a bad day and need some help posters. To all of you I say thank you. I have just needed something to read sometimes and you guys always have new content. It always helps me out when I am bored or am just in the mood to read blogs. Thank you. And you're welcome.

Heart

I had a heart once,
then I decided to move on
I couldn't handle it anymore
I just needed some space.

I needed you to stop.
Stop bothering me,
stop being fake towards me
I just can't handle it anymore.

I thought you were perfect for me.
But, I was wrong
I can't trust fake people.
I have made that mistake too many times.
I can't handle it anymore.

I need you to just be you.
I'm done with getting crap
and not being able to be real
It's like you aren't even the same person
when you are around me.
I can't handle it anymore.

I just need to move on
and let go of it
You can be you with other people
We just aren't ment for each other...

Music

It's Strange - Louis The Child
It's Strange
Louis The Child (Ft: K.Flay)

Heart been so cold that I don't feel at all
Scarred up inside so I built all these walls
Head rolling back, but I'm faking the rush
Out every night and I'm lonely as ****

I make my rules and my own plans
I got no room for no man
That's my way, that's my way
Then I saw you in a dream right
I wanna call you, a kind of feeling
I can't name, I can't name

It's strange
But I don't need space from you
And every single thing you do, I like
I've been chased
Maybe I just knew I had to wait for you
Draw a knife and carve a little space for you
It feels nice

It's strange, but I don't need space from you
And every single thing you do, I like

Opened me up, I let down my defense
Swore that I wouldn't go falling again
I could be faded with somebody new
Rather be sober at home just us two

I make my rules, and my own plans
I got no room for no man
That's my way, that's my way
Then I saw you in a dream right
I wanna call you, I got a feel that
I can't name, I can't name

It's strange
But I don't need space from you
And every single thing you do, I like
I've been chased
Maybe I just knew I had to wait for you
Draw a knife and carve a little space for you
It feels nice

I make my rules, and my own plans
I got no room for no man
That's my way, that's my way
Then I saw you in a dream right
I wanna call you, I kind of feel then
I can't name, I can't name

Drop the Game - Flume
Drop the Game
Flume & Chet Faker

I've been seeing all, I've been seeing your soul
Give me things that I've wanted to know
Tell me things that you've done
I've been feeling old, I've been feeling cold
You're the heat that I know
Listen, you are my sun

Oh oh oh oh oh

Hush, I said there's more to life than rush
Not gonna leave this place with us
Drop the game, it's not enough
Hush, I said there's more to life than rush
Not gonna leave this place with us
Drop the game, it's not enough

I've been seeing all, I've been seeing your soul
Give me things that I've wanted to know
Tell me things that you've done
I've been feeling old, I've been feeling cold
You're the heat that I know
Listen, you are my sun

Oh oh oh oh oh

I've been seeing all, I've been seeing your soul
Give me things that I've wanted to know
Tell me things that you've done
I've been feeling old, I've been feeling cold
You're the heat that I know
Listen, you are my sun

Oh oh oh oh oh

I've been seeing all, I've been seeing your soul
Give me things that I've wanted to know
Tell me things that you've done
I've been feeling old, I've been feeling cold
You're the heat that I know
Listen, you are my sun


Oh oh oh oh oh

I remember

I remember when I didn't know who I was or what I wanted
I remember when I was all alone
I remember when I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel
I remember when I was thrown into finding out who I was
I remember when I would just rebel for no reason
I remember when things started to get better
I remember when I screwed up
I remember when we would stay up and just talk
I remember when I could rely on others to help me out
I remember when I didn't have to worry about you going behind my back
I remember when you screwed up
I remember when I decided to move on
I remember when I got new friends
I remember when life couldn't get any better

Blue ticket

The blue ticket I got was: Long Bridge

When the bridge is long keep walking. Things will get better in the end. Sometimes you have to experience the bad in order to have good come in your life. You have to just work through it and hope for the best. When you think your job sucks, just think again. You could be a garbage dump operator. (No offense) Or you could be working for honey bucket. If that vacuum comes undone you will get crap all over you.

How to:

How to not write a how to:

1. Don't think about it just do it.
2. Don't even bother to research. It doesn't matter if you do.
3. Just wing it. No one will care either way
4. Break your keyboard and mouse.
5. Then destroy your computer with fire
6. Don't you even dare even have a desire to write a how to because it will not happen.

That is how to not write a how to

Blackout

It's inevitable that good comes on goodbye

After the cluster of handshakes the love was different now. 

Despite pop hooks a playful, perhaps emboldened horn-flavored swan

The best song ever doesn't stop here. 

Dear Carolina Liar,

I am privileged to get your name. I love all of your posts and can relate to all of them. I can't believe how much in common we have together. I can't really handle parties either. But mostly I can't stand dances. I will go to be with friends but I hate just standing there awkwardly in a hot room with a bunch of guys just there to pick up on chicks. I love your post A re-introduction most. I love how truthful you are in this post. Here is the post.

A re-introduction

I'm 17 years old and I actually kinda like high school.

I'm 17 years old and I couldn't name more than 5 people "friends".

I'm 17 years old and I have watch more chic flicks than your average cat lady.

I'm 17 years old and I drink skim milk occasionally.

I'm 17 years old and I've barely realized how I need a kitten.

I'm 17 years old and I own 27 pairs of shoes but I rotate through 3.

I'm 17 years old and I lose my chapstick daily.

I'm 17 years old and I'm terrified of grasshoppers.

I'm 17 years old and don't like it when people know my middle name.

I'm 17 years old and I prefer read-a-thons over parties. 

I'm 17 years old and I have no idea where I want to go to college.

I'm 17 years old and I have too many fears to count so I'll just avoid them.

I'm 17 years old and none of this matters anyways. 

Who is me? Or who am I?

I see you...

But do you see me?

I haven't posted in a while because I just haven't had this as a priority. Now that I am typing I am regreting all of it... It is so calm to sit down at a keyboard and just be able to relax and just put feelings onto a blog. 

This isn't scary to me, mainly because I haven't posted as much personal stuff. I could go into depth but I am usually a really open person. So to try to make this scarier for me and to try and prolong it as long as possible I will tell you guys about my sophmore year... Most people would be scared to death about just going to high school. I was the same, but in a different way. The day before my sophmore year started my parents decided that I needed to go to a rehabilitation facility. They had good reasoning and I sortof wanted to go.  My brother had gone through as well and I saw it as a big sleepover.  Most of the kids there had gone into drugs a lot. But for me it was different I was not at a drug rehabilitation facility for drugs... ( In fact I have never done drugs) (My idea of drugs is abusing anything) I was there for behavioral problems, I had gotten into fights with my parents a lot. So I got sent there at an inpatient facility (Staying on location) I went in there on August 19, 2013. I was picked up that moring at 10:30 am and was taken by 2 huge tongan guys. They were really nice but very intimidating. When I was there I had no privacy. You had to have someone inspect you before you did anything to make sure you weren't going to self harm. It was a really rough life there. There were a lot of really strict rules there. I was inpatient till 2nd semester... It was really hard to try and fit in after everybody had started to make friends. Luckily my best friend had stuck around waiting for me and I got to become amazing friends with the group that he had chosen. 

I hadn't graduated that facility till October 23rd 2014. (431 days) Mostly because I just hadn't payed attention and didn't care when I graduated due to low motivation. When everything is taken away from you it is really a blessing to get all the little things back. Like girls not being able to wear makeup there. Or being able to listen to music for 3-4 months... Then you will be able to be greatful for all the little things in life.

Now to get to the reveal... 

also known as PICTURE TIME

This is where I am most comfortable at... This is where I go to just escape the world, when I need to be able to just relax and just game... 

Yes I am a gamer... I have spent around  $1,200 for a gaming PC. I am not always gaming, I enjoy watching other's game. If you ask me why I enjoy other people game take a look at this very true picture...

I may get yelled at nelson for playing clash of clans but I still enjoy the game...

( Him yelling (verbally expressing his opinion) towards me actually made me get a whole new meaning of the class, not just an easy class. But a very true and humbling experience. I have learned to actually enjoy classes instead of just escaping them...)

Even though you have seen a picture doesn't mean you know who I am... I am not usually the loud kid in class. And I don't volunteer for almost anything.

I don't like getting my picture taken... But when I do I make it memorable.

Yes, my friends are probably the craziest you will meet. But they are my home away from home. I feel more comfortable sharing things with them than anyone else. Even my parents.

I can now comfortably say, I am Zach Ostler

Or as you guys know me, I am Matt Zagursky

Now that you have seen me. Enjoy my blog...

(More posts to come tonight Soon... I have to catch up...)

FEARS

Fear. What is it? How come we let it rule our lives? We decide our future not our fears or our peers. We can't base our lives around this little obstacle, we need to buck up or shut up. We can't keep shying away from facing our fears. We just need to face it head on. Don't let other influences destroy our lives. We should be able to decide what we do and don't do. If you are scared of heights you need to just face it and not keep saying " Ill face it some other time, when I am stronger or able to spend time." You guys are in high school you have all the time in the world. Sleep is for mortals

Alive

Sad Machine - Porter Robinson

I DO NOT OWN ANY RIGHTS TO THIS SONG

Is anyone there?
Oh-
Hi!

Who survived?
Somebody new?
Anyone else but you?

On a lonely night
Was a blinding light.
A hundred leaders would be borne of you.

And though I know, since you've awakened her again
She depends on you, she depends on you
She'll go alone, and never speak of this again
We depend on you, we depend on you

And though I know, since you've awakened her again
She depends on you, she depends on you
She'll go alone, and never speak of this again
We depend on you, we depend (I'll depend on you)

I don't know much about your life beyond these walls
The fleeting sense of love within these God-forsaken halls
And I can hear it in his voice, in every call
This girl who's slept a hundred years has something after all

And though I know, since you've awakened her again
She depends on you, she depends on you
I'll go alone, and never speak of you again
We depend on you, we depend on you

And though I know since you've awakened her again
She depends on you, she depends on you
She'll go alone, and never speak of this again
We depend on you, we depend on you

And though I know since you've awakened her again
She depends on you, she depends on you
She'll go on, and never speak of this again
We depend on you, we depend (I'll depend on you)

Bricks

You can use a brick in many different ways. There is never only one way to see an object. You have many uses for everything. You can think inside the box. Or you can think outside of a box. You could use a brick to build a house. Or you could use a brick and drill holes in it and use it as a pencil holder. You never just have one use for it. Like, for example you can use a computer you can use it for word documents. Or you can use a computer to code a little robot to do circles and win bot fights. You can ask 2 people the same question and get 2 different answers. It all depends on their mindset and how they percieve the world. That is all for today.

The best “places” around the world & do they live up to the hype?

Yes, Cozumel Mexico does really look like this. It isn't just in the pictures. I have been there in person 3 times and it has lived up to it all 3 times. It is really amazing to see the beauty of Cozumel. Scuba Diving there is a dream. You really can't get enough of this amazing water and how it gets it's beauty!!!

A journalist who recently went diving in Cozumel said the following about her experience:
"The water is so clear that diving is more like flying than swimming. You soar over an underwater mountain range, zooming over craggy peaks and swooping down into coral-studded crevices. Along the way, spiny lobsters wave their tentacles, anemones undulate their neon-colored fingers and queen angelfish, with their vibrant blue and yellow spade-shaped bodies, glide past. It's a buffet of marine life that includes Hawksbill turtles, nurse sharks, crabs, squid, and tiny snail-like creatures called flamingo tongues."

L0VE

What is L0VE???

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.

-Ann Landers

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

-Robert A. Heinlein

The story of life is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye.

-Jimi Hendrix

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.

-Barbara de Angelis

Scars

Scars - Open Letter to Hollywood from Heath Ledger

THIS IS NOT MY OWN WRITING. THIS IS THE LYRICS OF THE LINK!!!

If you're here He's not I'm not And Im sure you'd like to know why we're not Ill tell you.... He loved her And she's not here right now because of you ....Fame is a disease We all got it We're all sharing needles with it If you're not careful

You will die before you die

I mean, look at us
NO!
NO!
Silly!
Put the suicide note down
AND LOOK AT US

Look at all the bottles on the floor
Half of these things I cant even pronounce
But
Did you notice Xanax reads the same forward and backward?
No
I thought it was funny
Anyway
Apparently my apartment on Broome st
Did not sweep enough under the rug
So now you see what you've done
Now you know how I got these scars
See the camera keeps rolling
Like a wheel
Turning your insides
You cant have a normal life
Without a production team
With a search warrant for your bad day
How many tabloids do you think it took to ruin him
How many gossip sites did it take?
How many lines of cocaine do you think we need to forget
That everyday we're getting farther and farther away from EVERYTHING
We love
Oh you thought he was acting?
Oh You think I'm not real
Oh Im real
REEL TO REEL
And when you 're sick with fame like him
You need people like me to keep you laughing
So when the lady left with everything
I said Why So Serious
Just take two Ambien
Those are good for the nightmares
Take one of these
Two of those
A whole #%^#$%& of these


I kept the bathroom cabinets jokes coming

Because Painkillers can shove your mistakes off a balcony
And you can still smile about it
You think you know him
You don't
I was there
I was there to tell him that if were gonna go anywhere
We were gonna go out with a bang
So WHY SO SERIOUS!

Robits

Robots, They are nice and helpful. But at the same time they can rule our lives. If we are smart on our decisions and actually try we can do amazing things. I mean, if you think about it we are going into this technological age. We are advancing way too fast. We once lived in an age where there were no cell phones. People had to share numbers. You had to answer every phone call to see if it was for you or your next door neighbor. That is when you had to go outside. Now people only want to go outside if there is data there. Or WiFi, kids these days... I am one of those people so don't get me wrong. I love the internet. But sometimes you need to just not always be so connected. You need to get out and do things.

Social

I feel like some people live on blogger... I am not one of those people. That may not be a bad thing but, sometimes you need to enjoy life. Go out with friends and have fun. You can't just sit at a computer all day and hope that you will be stricken with ideas to write about on your blog. Go out and experience life. Live life to the fullest. That is all I have to say...

Pound Sign Different

So, to try to do something different I will post a good recipe.

World's Best Chocolate Chip Cookies

Prep Time: 15 mins

Total Time: 27 mins

Serves: 72, Yield: 6 dozen cookies

Ingredients

3/4 cup white sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1 cup butter, softened

1 tablespoon vanilla

2 large eggs, slightly beaten

3 cups all-purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt

3 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 cup walnuts, chopped or 1 cup pecans

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream sugars and butter.

Add vanilla and eggs and mix well.

Combine dry ingredients together and gradually add to creamed mixture.

Stir in chips and nuts.

Roll into 1 1/4" balls and place on non-stick cookie sheets, about 2" apart.

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes.

Lives are precious

The person's life I would change is, Stalins Youth. They have had some pretty hard times in their life. If you want to read their blog post that inspired me to write this you can find the link at the bottom of this and read it. 

So, how I would change their life is by having their dad not passing away from cancer. That is probably really hard on them and has effected their life forever. They will always remember him and how he has changed their life. I am also writing this on 9/11 so this is really just making me kinda feelingful right now. (Yes, internet people have feelings too...) 

But, they have just been really strong and have been able to stand although they have had pretty hard times in their life. And also, this person is a really good writer so you should check them out.

http://iaintgunnaeatyourfish.blogspot.com/2015/08/cancer-cant-kill-love.html

Crans

Yes, it is crayons but, skrew logic. You can be whatever you want whenever you want. I really think that you still have that little kid inside of you. (Don't let your mom set up your play dates though. That is really sad if you do. You need to get a life if your mom sets up your playdates.) But, you really need to sometimes have that little kid inside of you come out. You need to not worry what people think of you or how good you art... You can be who you want. DON'T LET OTHER PEOPLE TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE OR WHO YOU NEED TO BE. YOU ARE YOURSELF FOR A REASON
Just a thought for the day...